25 Terrible Christmas Jokes

25 Terrible Christmas Jokes

Fancy a festive chuckle? Love a good bad reindeer joke or a terrible snowman pun? Then just for you, here are 25 awful Christmas jokes. Click on each joke to reveal the punch line.


What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other?

Let’s hang out!

What goes oh oh oh?
Santa walking backwards!

Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?

They always drop their needles!

Who solves crimes at Christmas?

Santa Clues!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?

Because the present’s beneath them.

What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?

Their balls are just ornamental.

Why doesn't Santa have any kids?

Because he only comes once a year.

Christmas is so stupid…

Who ever invented it should be nailed to a cross.

Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkey – he’s always stuffed!

Why is it getting harder and harder to buy Advent calendars?

Their days are numbered!

Why did Santa stop smoking?

Because it’s bad for his elf!

What do fish sing at Christmas time?

Christmas Corals!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

Because they were two deer!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar?

He got 24 days!

What do you call an old snowman?

A puddle!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Can you smell carrots?

What do you call Father Christmas when he's on a tea break?

Santa Pause!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?

A mistle-toad!

Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.